Don't look now, but I'm gardening
by Iliketotouchyourmoen
Summary: Okay, so I hate Kagamine Len. I think. I mean, he's always being such a jerk - why is he doing it? What have I ever done to him? Anyway, then there's Miki. She's my best friend, but lately she's been doing weird things. Like gardening. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DOES GARDENING? And why do I blush around Len even though he's such a buttface? Anyone? RinxLen / MikixPiko etc please R&R!


**Disclaimer: **I like strawberries. And Rin and Len need an English append. _Now._

Herp derp another storyryry! I, to be honest, started this thing like 2-3 months ago and worked on it on and of hahahahhaha no.

As for the other one, I've started it but you're going to have to wait... Forever 8D /bricked

* * *

**RIN**

"Len, you are a big, fat, hairy dumbass. Now, move." I grumbled to the idiot who stood in front of me, blocking the way to my locker. He smirked cheekily, brushing his blonde mop to the side in a sense that would make normal humans sigh.

"Nope, midget, I'm not moving for you." He laughs like Santa Claus, but with more of a selfish vibe.

I narrow my eyes and felt my face turn red, irritated at the fact that he still calls me that. In fact, he's quite shorter than other boys in our grade. Plus, I've grown five centimetres over the holidays. That's a lot for me.

"Who are you calling midget? Move it, princess." As you can see (or well, read) this jerk and I do not get along. We both have a very strong passion of hate towards each other. In fact, looking at his ugly but pretty face right now makes me want to throw up rainbows because he is so gay.

"Ooh, I'm crying! That hurt me so." Len snorts and steps to the side, allowing my access to the locker. I stepped forward, sighing in exasperation.

"Thank you–"

"Shorty," He interrupts me and pushes me over with his shoulder. I fall back against someone else. I quickly gain my posture and glare at him as he walks off, snickering.

"YOU HAVE NO BALLS, KAGAMINE LEN." I screamed at him. People in the hallway turn and stare at me. I quickly look away and pretend I wasn't the one who did it.

* * *

**Chapter Onehundredandeightythree**

Mathematics is my least favourite lesson of the day. Mainly because jerk-face here is seated directly behind me and likes to throw paper spit-balls into my hair and put paper down the back of my shirt. This irritates me because I can't concentrate and listen to the teacher at all.

I know, it would be smart to dob him in but it's practically impossible, because the teacher swoons over him as well as the whole female population of the school (and possibly male too).

So telling the teacher that her Lenny-booboo (or whatever mental names she probably gives him) is mucking up in class will probably earn me a detention, because Lenny-booboo is the bloody innocent Virgin Mary.

Len's decided that after spitting about ten spit-balls into my hair and shoving seven pieces of paper down my shirt he's gotten bored of my lack of reaction and is going to start a new thing – pulling my hair.

He does it several times and they hurt, but the fifth time he yanks my hair so hard I yelp out loud. The whole class turns to stare and I blush furiously.

"Sorry, there was a spider in my pencil case." I mutter, standing up and bowing an apology to the teacher and the class.  
I sit down and everyone turns away, leaving me to hear Len cackling behind me quietly. I will get acid and put it in his soap and face wash, I will get glue and put it on his locker handle and his chair in Mathematics. I'm so freaking annoyed.

Luckily, the class ends and the teacher gives us homework, making me wonder how the eff I am going to do it because the whole time I was being distracted by the stupid butt-face that sat behind me.

I turned to butt-face, angrily. He's looking relaxed and has a smirk on his face again. Right now, I would kick him in the face, but I would get in trouble. So, I gave him the middle finger by sneakily brushing my hair back with it. His grin widens and he reaches out, yanking my hair again. I make a grunt of pain and narrowed my eyes into slits.

"One day, you will wake up and you will no longer have a penis." I warned while blushing and he starts laughing. I scoop my books up and turn away, leaving the laughing idiot in the classroom.

* * *

Finally, lunchbreak came and I was glad to see my friends after being tortured by Len in pretty much every class. They were all seated at our usual bench, chatting about something obviously worth swooning over – I could hear their girly "KYAAAAAA"'s and "WAAAAAAA"'s from a mile away.

I plopped myself next to Miki, who wasn't conversing at the moment but being stuck into eating some cherry-flavoured lollies.

"What's going on?" I asked. Miki looks up in surprise and sighs, shaking her head.

"It's that Len kid again. Apparently, there's a rumour going around that he's got a crush on one of the girls at school. The usual," She mutters while offering me a lolly and waving her other hand carelessly around, "It's not that exciting, really… oh, how are you and Len, anyway? Still arguing and fighting and making drama?" I nodded; rolling my eyes as I graciously accepted the lolly.

"The usual," I replied bluntly, "He's found a new pastime in Math – pulling my hair so hard I yell out and disrupt the class." I sigh, resting my head in my hand.

"Why don't you just ask the teacher to move? Say that being at that place is distracting? Or you can't see?" Miki suggests. I shake my head sadly.

"First of all – she would reason with me and make it difficult, second – I have perfect 20/20 vision and I am in the second row, she would probably laugh. Even sensei said at the start of the year that we're permanently in that seating arrangement for the whole year, no if's or but's, unless there is a really, terrible, horrible reason that makes her pity you that she'll move you. Already, the teacher hates my guts so there's no way she'd believe me, either, if I tried telling her Len likes to spit paper spit-balls at me, pull my hair and put paper down my shirt. She would laugh." I explained, getting stressed over it. Miki shakes her head, tutting.

"Who's your teacher again?" She asks.

"Megurine-sensei,"

"Oh my God, are you serious? That dirt-bag? I had her once for History; tell me, I came out feeling suicidal. How do you even survive?"

"Miki!" I groaned.

Suddenly, Megumi wants to be part of our conversation.

"Hey, guys! What're you all talking about?" She asks, leaning across the table into earshot and grinning.

"Eyeballs," I lied.

"Len annoying Rin in class," Miki replied at the same time.

Megumi raises her eyebrow, her grin suddenly turning dark.

"Maybe Rin is the girl Len likes!" I start choking on my orange juice and Miki rolls her eyes.

"Megumi, do you even see what he does? That's far from "like", at any degree." Miki points out as I am too busy coughing in the background to stand up for myself.

"Yeah, whatever – I still believe he likes her. Seriously, just look at her; cute little thingy choking on her orange juice! Isn't that just _KAWAII SUGOI KAWAII_?" Megumi exclaims, pointing at me as I finally get my breath back.

"Megumi, please don't use weaboo language during school. It's a bad influence for the midget-kiddies." Shion-sensei advises as he walks past.

"Sorry sensei."

"Guys, I'm sorry, but just no. Never. Ever. That dude. I don't even know, man." I resumed the conversation once Shion-sensei is out of earshot. That teacher is weird – weirder than peanut butter and jelly and stockings on French toast being served in Café China for dinner. I think I've seen him eat leek ice-cream before. I'm not actually sure.

"Actually~" Miki says to me in a tone that means trouble (because she's just got an idea or whatnot-scary-stuff-like-that) as she wriggles her fingers around in the air at me, "You two would actually look like a really good couple, if Len wasn't such a jerk."

"Yah," Megumi agrees.

"Oh dear," I sigh, face-palming. Either Len has put some magical Len-loving substance in these guy's nomnoms, or I just need to shave my hair off completely and grow a moustache.

Speaking of the devil, Len strides around the corner of the school room looking quite derp-like – a stupid smirk thingy on his face – with his pants pulled up to his ears.

"Oh, look, Rin, he's dressed up all fancy for you." Miki said in sarcasm. Everybody turns their heads and KYAAAAAA's and WAAAAAAAAH's or roll their eyes. Society, I do not get you.

Len scans the crowd as he stops walking and puts his hands on his hips and looks goofy. He spots me and strides over.

"Hello, hello, hello." Len chants, smirking.

"Go away." I groan, leaning away from him as far as possible.

"You have a spit ball in your hair." He says, touching my hair, "Oh, look, now you have two." I shake my head, trying to get the spit balls out before combing my hair. Len leans in and brushes the spit balls away. He leans in further – a little too close. I grunted in irritation and he smirks.

"What are the answers for yesterday's Science homework?" He asks me.

"I don't know, how about you write it down next time?" I retorted, blushing in… embarrassment. I can't believe I just said that. In the background, I can hear my so called friends giggling and fussing over Len's pants.

I get distracted from my surroundings suddenly – by Len's breath.

IT SMELLS LIKE BANANAS.

WHY.

WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE BANANAS?

Wait.

WHY IS HE SO CLOSE THAT I CAN ACTUALLY SMELL HIS BREATH?

I leant further away, so far that my head was now actually resting on the top of the bench-chair-thing (whatever it is). Of course, doing this makes him lean in closer, so close his lips were practically touching my cheek.

I whimpered.

And someone, somehow, discovers I am dying and decides to rescue me.  
"Okay, Len, you've annoyed her enough today. Let her be." I hear Miki tell Len. She doesn't sound serious though, she sounds like she's amused by this. What great friends I have.

Len pulls away and I shoot up, jumping off the chair and running for my life to the bathroom. When I reach the bathroom, I run in and start pacing back and forth in stress. I glance at my face in the mirror and my cheeks are beetroot red. Oh, fudge. I hope no one noticed.

I stay hidden for the rest of lunch, wishing that Len would leave me alone. Of course, I remember that I have all the lessons today with him. Remembering that makes everything ten hundred, million, billion, googol, eons times worse. I sigh in depression.

* * *

I get to Japanese and groan mentally when I see butt face, smiling all goofy (as usual) and harassing some other poor people. My brain was just hoping that he would magically die or disappear but we all know that's not even possible (unless we have a gun). The situation gets worse when he spots me, edging as far as away as possible from him to the back of the line.

"Hey, little brother!" He shouts at me. What-? Little brother? Are you even serious? I quickly jumped behind some weird dude who smells like pickles – ew – and pretend Len did not just address me as his _brother_. I'm a girl for God's sake. I have solid proof. _I have a vagina_.

Len, being the obvious idiot he is, trots over and begins to elbow me in the ribs. I slapped his elbow away and shoved him into a girl who was doing her makeup up in the window's reflection. She squeals and then blushes as Len apologizes with his ultimate girl charm.

I felt the urge to throw up because it is just… EW. Luckily, the teacher arrives and saves me from getting further harassed. Of course, that is short lived.

"Okay class, today we will be working in pairs!" The teacher exclaims over-excitedly, sitting on her desk and fanning herself with our worksheets. The boys are all sitting up the front (except Len, because he's probably plotting ways to make me suffer and flirting with the girls in the back) drooling all over the desks. The teacher has a gigantic rack – _big deal_.

Boys make zero sense to me. This is why I haven't got a boyfriend yet… (That and I happen to be only 14 years old).

Anyway, the whole class and I groan loudly. I pray to God I'm not paired with someone I don't want to be with – like (cough) Len. He can go die… wait, I take that back; that's sort of mean.

"And," the teacher adds with a big smirk on her face, "I will be choosing your pairs!" More groans, some people are crying. Wow, never knew this was drama class.  
The teacher pulls this list out of her shirt (the boys get nosebleeds… LOL) and begins to read out the names of pairs. Finally, she reaches my name.

"Kagamine Rin… you're with," dramatic pause, "Kagamine Len!" Len jumps up and runs over to me, pulling me into a hug – wait what? He reeks of bananas and deodorant. What am I doing, sniffing his shirt, anyway? Some girls glare at me from over his shoulder. I'm speechless.

"Yay, Rin! I'm so glad I'm with you." Len exclaims, grinning disturbingly. I wonder if Len rigged the list so he could be with me. Most likely, he's weird like that.

I groan in reply and slump down in my chair once he's done molesting me. He strokes my hair creepily and starts telling me stupid jokes about bananas. I ignore him, crying silently in my own pity. Why is fate so mean? Why does it keep sticking me with this loser?

Eventually, the teacher pulls out another sheet of paper from her shirt (maybe her boobs are storage devices) and tells us what to do. Together, we have to do a 'skit' and write out a script for it. Len suggests we do high school lovers making out in a classroom and I suggest we do me potentially stabbing him with a pencil. After a bit of arguing, the teacher tells us to do a confession situation. A CONFESSION SITUATION? She also winked at us and I felt my stomach throw up a little.

The teacher thinks we're going out with each other.

Or she's convinced we like each other.

Or Len has tapped into her mind and made her believe those things.

I don't know whether I should cry or not.

So here I am, confessing my _undying love _for Kagamine Len. "A-ah… _you know… I was wondering…_" I stammer, pretending that I was absolutely in love with him and completely embarrassed about what I was doing. I was technically embarrassed anyway, so it wasn't hard to pull off.

All Len gets to say is, "Yeah?" "What's wrong?" "I love you too." and "Let's go out." I practically do all the work. Typical male…

"_Yeah, Rin-chan?_" He pretends to be all innocent and curious. He isn't. Inside he is probably peeing his pants from insane laughter.  
"_I-I've been trying to tell you this for a while… I don't want you to… uh…"_ I mumble, shuffling my feet at the carpet and looking down.

"_What's wrong?" _Len asks, frowning as if he was concerned. He looked really… _cute_. Wait, what am I saying?

"_I… uh, I… love you._" I duck my head down, pretending I was ashamed of my confession. Len reaches over and puts his hand under my chin, tilting my face up so I was looking directly into his eyes. HOLY CRAP, since when did this freak have such amazing blue eyes? Now I actually _feel _nervous.

My legs go weak and I have to put my hand on the desk beside me to steady myself. Len cracks a grin, I don't know whether it was a grin that was part of the act or he was smirking at my… girly weaknesses. "_I love you too… I always have, Rin-chan._" Doki doki… oh you have got to be kidding me. Heart, stay out of this business.

"_Really?_" I gasp, sounding (surprisingly) excited. I grasp the front of my shirt and blush to make it look like I'm going to die from happiness; when really, my heart is pounding so loudly I feel as if I'm going to have a gigantic heart attack.

"_Let's go out._" He whispers and then closes his eyes and starts leaning in – wait, WHY IS HE LEANING IN? I lean away, freaking out. He better not be going to sleep on me. Or trying to kiss me. Or both.

"Uh, Len?" I say and his eyes snapped open. Okay, he shouldn't have; as soon as his amazing blue eyes opened, my legs went zuhiashduihiads and I collapsed to the ground – in the meantime, making a "WAH!" sound.

"_M-Mou_! Rin-chan!" The teacher exclaims. Len looks surprised – his cheeks are sort of red and his mouth was in an 'o' shape. He bends over and scoops me up like a bride, making me squeak in shock.

"The end." Len says proudly and bows (while still holding me). The class applauds and the stupid boys at the front wolf-whistle. The teacher shakes her head and rolls her eyes, before getting the class to settle down.

"Thank you, Len, Rin." She beams, patting both of our heads as Len puts me back down. "It felt as if you were really confessing to each other." She giggles and I feel like throwing up because… no. Just no. Stop wishing, people; it's never going to happen.

I slump down in my chair unenthusiastically and Len takes a seat beside me. He's got a weird smile on his face – something I don't think I've seen before. I mean, it's _weird _because I've never seen such a… normal smile on his lips before.

As the teacher calls up the next group, Len mutters something under his breath… I don't know whether he was directing it to me or not, but I heard my name.

"You were really cute, Rin." He says so softly I am surprised I can hear it. Wait, _what_? Were my ears playing up on me or something?

"Uh, p-pardon?" I say nervously, my face feeling hot. Had I really heard that?

Then Len smirks. "Nothing," He says dryly, "I said nothing, midget." ARGDUJHDHDJhdjhkdhfdlshdjsf.

I'll show him _midget_…

One day. I glared at the back of his head for the rest of the lesson.

* * *

Finally, school ends and as usual, I have cleaning duty. I always do. It's like they never give me a break. Of course, to my luck, Miki has it too.

"RINNY-CHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN~!" She cries dramatically, running slowly towards me with her arms outstretched.

"MIKIMIKI-CHANNNNNNNN~!" I followed suit. Just before we collided, she lifted up her broom in a defensive position.

"WE MUST FIGHT!" Miki shrieked, lunging at me and swinging her broom around dangerously. I dodged and climbed up on top of a desk, holding my broom up like a microphone.

"NEVER! I SHALL KILL YOU WITH MY _DOKI DOKI HEARTSU KAWAII_ VOICE! _MOENNNNN_ TRANSFORMATION~!" I did a peace sign like a signature move they use in those girly anime.

I began singing at the top of my lungs, "_PANTSU NUGERU MON! PANTSU NUGERU MON! PANTSU NUGERU MON NEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~_" As I was finishing the 'ne' Miki's smile fades and her gaze narrows at a spot behind me. I turn and…

…Oh God, Len is having a nosebleed in the doorway.

"_HENTAIIIIIIIIII!_" Miki screams, pointing her finger accusingly at him. "Eradicate him! Eradicate the pervert!" She lifts up her broom and runs towards him. I follow after her and we begin chasing him with our brooms around the classroom.

"It was an accident! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!" He's crying as we followed him. Finally… he was cornered by Miki.

"_Ne, ne_? Are you now?" She chuckles darkly. I back away slightly, watching as she began to hit him with the broom. "This is for your perverted personality!" Miki yells, hitting him in the stomach. "This is for being mean to Rin-chan!" Another blow – "And this is for good luck!" She wacks him for the last time. He's doubled over, moaning.

I finally decide to walk over, crouching down beside him and poking his cheek. "Naw, I was hoping he'd cry." Miki mutters in disappointment and I shake my head, grinning. I pinched his cheeks and stretched them.

"C-close enough!" Len winces, frowning. "Stop touching my face!" He blushes lamely.

"No, it's so squishy~" I poke my tongue out as I squished his face all together. Wow, he looked ugly when I did that. I hope the wind changes while I'm doing it so he stays that way. "You look ugly when I do this." He pulls my hands away and wipes his face with his sleeve.

"Coming from you?" He retorts.

"What? Rin-chan is sexy and cute. You're just blind." Miki sticks up for me, shoving her foot in his face. "I'm surprised girls like you, Kagamine. You're so rude to poor Rin-chan here." Len looked bewildered.

"What? It's not like she's any better!" He wavers his hand at me. I frown and hop up.

"W-whatever! Idiot! I hate you anyway." I grumble, resuming to sweep the floors. Miki sighs and began sweeping too, that is, until Shion-sensei walked in.

"What's this entire racket?" He grumbles, "I can hear it from the staff room." Suddenly, Miki and I straightened up and beamed.

"Oh nothing, Shion-sensei!" Miki chimes innocently, "Len-kun was just being stupid and fell over! Such a clumsy one." I had to hide my giggles with a cough and Len groans from the corner dramatically.

"I see," Shion-sensei states, but I can tell he doesn't believe us. "Keep it down or you're going to all have detentions." Just like that, he stalks out of the classroom. I waited a bit before chuckling quietly. Miki rolls her eyes at me.

"I'm going home. Bye Rin-chan." Miki sighs, walking over to the cupboard and placing her broom in there. As Miki makes her way to the door, Len grunts and she turns and narrows her eyes at him. "Bye Barbie-chan." She adds before exiting. Len frowns.

It took me a few moments to realise I was now in a classroom – alone – with Len. I think I should escape before he gets any _ideas_. I shuddered at the thought as I make my way over to the cupboard to put my broom away. I turn around and nearly poop myself as Len had sneakily walked up behind me.

"I'm going home too. Move," I ordered, frowning. Len doesn't budge. He doesn't look happy, either. Well, I don't blame Barbie-chan here; Miki just beat the crap out of him. And it was pretty damn awesome. "Please," I add desperately, trying to step around him but he reaches out and grabs my arm.

Suddenly, my heart starts beating really fast and my face turns red. Len pushes me up against the wall, his arms on either side of me; making sure I can't escape. Oh fudging mandarins and bananas I am going to get raped.

He leans in close, so I could feel his breath tickling my nose. HOLY GEEZERS. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY WHATNOT TO SOME CRAZY BLONDE GUY IN A CLASSROOM AT THE AGE OF FOURTEEN. -

"Rin," He whispers into my ear. "You look like a tomato." Len pulls away and smirks, before disappearing outside the classroom door.

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

My legs go weak and I collapse onto the floor, holding my face in my hands in embarrassment. I can't believe I fell for that! He's such a jerk! DIUGDIGHUIFSHFJBHKDSHJKDL I WILL KILL HIM SOMEDAY.

* * *

**PLEASE COMMENT/REVIEW. Even if it's like "whatuvr ths is cool man" IT'S REALLY NICE. I LIKE YOU.**


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